wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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