How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize