I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
