What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
