u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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