im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
