I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
