youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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