Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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