Someone shit on the floor
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
