Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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