somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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