this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
