I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
