end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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