He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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