Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
