yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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