...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
