Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
