So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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