i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize