So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I wish you could order shots online.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
