So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
