you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
no you cant smoke seaweed
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
