Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
