about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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