Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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