Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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