She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
