Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
being pregnant is like rehab
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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