I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
