I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
