I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Houston, we have a blender
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
