You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
