i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
