After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
