So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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