Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
