Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
