their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
