Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
