the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
