tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
