Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
