Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize