He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Randomize
