I want you more than these girls want KFC
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
