Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I deserve this hangover.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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