I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
