what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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