My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
