Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
