The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize