It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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