Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
