He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize