fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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