Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
