My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
