I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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