does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
