i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
