The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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