I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
