high people should be assigned attendants
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
