I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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