I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize