Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize