ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
