Me too!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
