bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
