So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
